When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
