the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
