Having a random hookup so left but love u
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
