apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
