last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
