I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im six kinds of drunk right now
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
