omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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