..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
