So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You smell like stripper and shame
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
