Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
