And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
