my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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