Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
