So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize