Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
