Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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