I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
