She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
