Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
