I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
