where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
