He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
