I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
