benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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