Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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