Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
