Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
