my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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