I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
