I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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