My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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