Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
