Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
