Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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