I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
