gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
