I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
