If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
