I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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