"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
false alarm, still single
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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