I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize