she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
