In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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