in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize