we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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