woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
even my farts smell like vagina
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
