i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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