her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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