I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
