I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
