We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
