he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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