I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I love having hate sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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