i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you win again, gameday.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
