Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
