ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
