its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
COCAINE IS GR8
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
