If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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