i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
