is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm at about main and main street
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize