The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
